[28/10/16] ungrateful and undeserving? 

I think one of my biggest dilemmas is the fact that I complain because my parents make my life ‘difficult’. I use quotation marks for difficult cause the reality is they aren’t really that difficult, it’s more of the fact that we disagree, a lot.

Their ideology is all based from reason and religion, which they value. And never once has that ideology been used in a way to make me feel inferior and be little me. And never have they used that to express their control over me. Instead, they choose to follow it in their way and they extend that onto how they deal with me.

Even after understanding all of this, it’s so hard for me to not be constantly disappointed. Disappointed that even though my parents let me and support me in doing 95% of the things I do, it’s the 5% that I don’t get that sends me into a fit. It’s because that 5% is really important to me and it’s one of those things that’s a huge part of my personality and it’s something I’m passionate about. Does that make me a terrible daughter? And a terrible person?

There’s this sense of guilt I get when I complain because I have a great life, I have parents who love me and accept me and are there for me. They have never made me feel like I was not important and they valued my education just as highly as they did for my brother, not once. They ignored the haters and placed value on education and went against all the odds (in my culture women are educated but men are given the chance to go abroad, it is unheard of for a women to go abroad to obtain her education. SO thankful for you mama and baba <3). So do I have a right to be upset and disappointed? Or am I just a selfish millennial that believes the world revolves around her and her tiny little frame?



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